There's been a lot happening at the Motel.
Sometimes the happening takes the form of stuff that's going to happen, then isn't happening, then we're wondering why it didn't and either wishing it had or sighing with relief.
Sometimes the happening is stuff we didn't expect, but it happens and we react in the moment and then discuss it at length afterwards.
And occasionally, we plan something and it comes together the way it was supposed to.
There's been stuff happening on a small scale - like new friends and team members - and on a larger scale - like a tax increase that's going to affect the marginalized.
Stuff on the Dinner front, and stuff on the Not For Profit Corporation front.
I haven't written about any of it.
I get ideas for things I want to write about, but after they bounce around in my head for a while, they end up sounding like whining.
Problem is, the corp has been dancing in my scalloped potatoes.
Through a series of unfortunate events, I've been shanghai'd into being chairman of the board. Rather against my will. And, I've made it clear, only until December 17 at the outside. Mark your calendars. I have.
It was kind of funny - absurd - for a while, but not for long. It's a job that I can do, yeah sure, but not a job I would ever choose to do.
It requires a kind of energy and a kind of thinking that I'm capable of marshalling, but that's physically exhausting. Being an introvert, I go home after board meetings, wait until the adrenaline twitch has subsided and lie down for an hour.
And lately, when I go to Dinners, I find my mind orbiting all that Chairman stuff instead of enjoying the meal, and listening and contemplating and relaxing. I've reached the point where I resent it. Which is bad.
A kindred spirit, who joined the Board for a time and recently resigned, put it this way: "My prayer life goes on the fritz when I get frustrated and I see anger in my speech and I do not like it." Bingo.
So I haven't been going to Dinners the last few weeks. My husband talked me into going about a month ago, but we left without eating because I just couldn't stay.
That's why I'm not writing much.
I know the corporation is, fundamentally, a good thing. That the people on the board with me are good people - intelligent, passionate, caring. I know that in time, good will come of it. But it's cost me quite a lot.
Which sounds like whining.
The part of me that grew up in church, always pretending everything was fine, hearing stories of success upon success, thinks that I should just shut up and smile. But what does that accomplish?
I have to believe that honesty is better. That maybe someone can learn from my adventures and misadventures. So I should whine, occasionally. Whining for the greater good. I'm a hero.
I expect that soon, once the Chair is either under control or passed on to someone better suited, I'll be back to enjoying Dinners and my friends there.
I'll let you know.
r
Sometimes the happening takes the form of stuff that's going to happen, then isn't happening, then we're wondering why it didn't and either wishing it had or sighing with relief.
Sometimes the happening is stuff we didn't expect, but it happens and we react in the moment and then discuss it at length afterwards.
And occasionally, we plan something and it comes together the way it was supposed to.
There's been stuff happening on a small scale - like new friends and team members - and on a larger scale - like a tax increase that's going to affect the marginalized.
Stuff on the Dinner front, and stuff on the Not For Profit Corporation front.
I haven't written about any of it.
I get ideas for things I want to write about, but after they bounce around in my head for a while, they end up sounding like whining.
Problem is, the corp has been dancing in my scalloped potatoes.
Through a series of unfortunate events, I've been shanghai'd into being chairman of the board. Rather against my will. And, I've made it clear, only until December 17 at the outside. Mark your calendars. I have.
It was kind of funny - absurd - for a while, but not for long. It's a job that I can do, yeah sure, but not a job I would ever choose to do.
It requires a kind of energy and a kind of thinking that I'm capable of marshalling, but that's physically exhausting. Being an introvert, I go home after board meetings, wait until the adrenaline twitch has subsided and lie down for an hour.
And lately, when I go to Dinners, I find my mind orbiting all that Chairman stuff instead of enjoying the meal, and listening and contemplating and relaxing. I've reached the point where I resent it. Which is bad.
A kindred spirit, who joined the Board for a time and recently resigned, put it this way: "My prayer life goes on the fritz when I get frustrated and I see anger in my speech and I do not like it." Bingo.
So I haven't been going to Dinners the last few weeks. My husband talked me into going about a month ago, but we left without eating because I just couldn't stay.
That's why I'm not writing much.
I know the corporation is, fundamentally, a good thing. That the people on the board with me are good people - intelligent, passionate, caring. I know that in time, good will come of it. But it's cost me quite a lot.
Which sounds like whining.
The part of me that grew up in church, always pretending everything was fine, hearing stories of success upon success, thinks that I should just shut up and smile. But what does that accomplish?
I have to believe that honesty is better. That maybe someone can learn from my adventures and misadventures. So I should whine, occasionally. Whining for the greater good. I'm a hero.
I expect that soon, once the Chair is either under control or passed on to someone better suited, I'll be back to enjoying Dinners and my friends there.
I'll let you know.
r
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