Houseless/Homeless

1. A man is sleeping on cardboard on the sidewalk of a city street. Houseless or homeless?
2. A couple are living in a tent on the beach because of a lack of available affordable housing. Houseless or homeless?
3. A woman who had been sleeping on a friend's couch gets kicked out of the house because of violent behaviour. Houseless or homeless?

Sometimes I roll my eyes a bit at attempts to politically correctificate language. I haven't yet made up my mind on this recent shift which, supposedly, is "preferred by those experiencing houselessness." Honestly, who took that survey? 

The idea that "some people are houseless, but no one is homeless" seems a bit naïve and facile to me, born of a simplistic philosophy that houselessness is a cause of other ills which can be cured with a front door key. One site I read said something like "home" is your community. Your family. Your car (whatever that means). Apparently, when we call someone "homeless" we are diminishing their connectedness to the rest of humanity.

Again, to me, that seems well-intentioned but clueless.

Let's define "home."

Home is... 'where the heart is.' In #2 above, the couple have each other. They are committed to each other, and they're a team. So, yeah, they have a home. But not a house.

Home is... 'where you hang your hat.' Or 'where your stuff is.' In #1, the man has no stuff except what he carries with him. He has no friends except those who need something from him, or from whom he needs something. These relationships are based on survival, expediency, and proximity. (Anyone who thinks otherwise is romanticizing the situation.) He has neither home nor house.

Home is... 'where they have to take you in.' In #3, the woman gets angry when the beer runs out and tries to push someone down the stairs. She's only been tolerated in the house because she had no other place to go, and this is the final straw. All of her stuff (and some of other people's) goes in bin bags and she's gone. The people in the house neither know nor care where. She had a house, but not a home. Now she has neither.

      4. An elderly man with no family has a room in a house rented by a younger friend. His ability to look after himself begins to degrade and the effect that has on the atmosphere of the house reaches a point where his friend just can't anymore. His friend calls 911 and reports "a senior who is incapable of caring for himself" which brings emergency services who take the man to a nursing home, whether he wants to go or not.

He did have a house, and a home. Someone cared enough about him to tolerate some pretty unpleasant stuff, and then made sure he ended up somewhere safe. Will that relationship continue? Don't know. We'll see.

In our area, there is a huge shortage of housing. Property prices have skyrocketed and even if you have the money, you still have to find a vacancy or a house for sale. A fair number of people who bought houses as investments have either gentrified them or are now selling in order to realize their investment which means renters are out.

For some, houselessness is, in fact, a cause of other problems: applying for work, dressing for an interview, getting a bank account or ID card, registering your kids for school, finding potable water.

For some, houselessness is a symptom of homelessness: they just couldn't stay 'there' anymore, either because of their own behaviour or someone else's.

If homelessness can be defined as a diminished connection to the rest of humanity, it's relational. It means that people are out there, alone, for a reason. 

It means that those of us who are 'safe indoors' ought to be going looking for them: being and finding friends.